My Life Update

Wow, I have not posted a blog in a long time. I guess that means life has been good or I have been too busy. I think it’s a combo of both. Let’s recap since May 2012, when I graduated from college.

Summer of 2012 was wonderful. It was the first summer I did not have a steady job. I spent the summer babysitting when asked because I wanted to be able to do job interviews anytime I was called.

I went to the beach a lot! I went with a family I babysit for, and my friend Jenny D!

I went on another sort of babysitting trip with Cassie & our friends, the Newkirks! 

I went with my, at the time, boyfriend and his family!

Lastly, I went with my brother and Tripp to visit my Florida family!  And yes, this is the best picture I have of the two of them.

Tripp & I also went to several weddings. The Bence wedding, the Holster wedding, & the Marwitz wedding. All of them were so wonderful! It was so much fun going to so many weddings with my love!

In the midst of the beach and the weddings, I interviewed at 5 different schools. On one of my beach trips, I received a call that I was to be the new 4^th grade teacher at Smokey Mountain Elementary! I was ecstatic! Thankfully, best roommate ever (aka Cassie Moore) was working very close to my school so were able to continue living together! We moved to the Villa, which was very nice and very expensive. But I am mostly glad we lived there.

From August to May, most of my life was taken up by school. Being a teacher is about 357 times hard than I thought it would be. The scary part is, I already thought It would be hard in the first place! I am so blessed to work with some amazing colleagues though! I learned so much and will probably need to post a whole blog simply on the joys and trials of teaching in America.

One last major life event happened. Tripp proposed to me on August 19^th! It was beyond perfect and I am just so blessed to have him in my life!

So aside from teaching, I spent the year planning our wedding. My mom was such a huge help! My dad and her did so many amazing things that Tripp and I are so thankful for!! I had some help from many others too. More on this later, I think.

My friend Becca got married in December! I was so honored to be a part of her special day!!

In February, I became the interim children’s coordinator at First UMC of Sylva. This was a great experience and I am thankful I was able to work so much with the children of the church. I had to leave the job a few weeks ago, because it was too much to do with teaching and we are now living somewhere else.

Also in February, Cassie and I moved to a different apartment in preparation for Cassie-moving-to-Asheville L I was so so so so so blessed to get to live with Cassie for so long. I am incredibly thankful for her and will always look to her as one of my best friends! But with the wedding coming up and with Cassie’s job aspirations, it made sense that we not live together after I was married and she really wanted to be in Asheville. I am so glad she got a job there and I know she is going to be an amazing manager of the Grand Bohemian one day J Some Cassie pics because we take such good pics!

At some point in April, Tripp & I ran a 5K with some wonderful friends and my sister! We ran it in 34 minutes!!! It was my first!

In May, Tripp graduated college! Cassie was moving out! I was finishing up the school year! My dear friend Miranda was married and I am so honored to have been a part of her special day too! 

On June 15^th, Tripp & were married. It was the best day of my life. I will write more about that later.

This summer, we both worked, we learned how to live together, and Tripp got a full time teaching job teaching choir in Andrews at a middle and high school. We moved to Bryson City, so he’d be a little closer to work, although he still has quite a commute.

Now these are all just highlights of the best year. Much, much more happened but I don’t have time to write about everything! I am starting my second year at SME in the same room and grade (YAY!) and Trippy is starting his job and God is still blessing us in so many ways! 

I will definitely be writing again soon!

--Nothing Without Him--

Jenny Lewis 

'Fixing' Things

It has been quite a crazy weekend!! I graduated from college and was overwhelmed by the kindness and gifts and support from my friends and family! There is some news that makes me very sad that was released this weekend. Lots of emotions and craziness. But I want to focus on something that is just eating me up, I just want to set the record straight for myself.

Today, I was taking some pictures on campus with some friends and I saw my ex-boyfriend. Now, when we broke up a couple years ago, I was very upset and I wanted to fix it. I wanted to change my ways and I wanted him to change his ways. I wanted do something or say something to fix it. I tried all sorts of tactics and nothing worked. It took me awhile (and a few Bible studies full of growth) to realize that God had a different plan for me and that he just wasn't the boy for me and that our relationship did not need to be fixed.

The only reason I bring this up is because it has happened again to me (not a boyfriend, just a friend) and today there was a comment said and thoughts just flooded my head and I really truly realized that I don't need or want to fix it. I have changed a lot this past year. Student teaching has changed me. Epilepsy has changed me. Africa changed me. My relationship with God continues to change. I have formed some wonderful relationship with my Accountability group at church, with my old friend Cassie (who has also changed), and with my boyfriend, Tripp. My changes and their changes have worked together. We have changed each other, we have supported each other. This is good.

My relationship with another friend has not changed in a positive way. And that is ok. I have been trying for so long now just to fix it. For awhile, I just tried to ignore it thinking it would be ok. But these past year, it has become very not okay and impossible to ignore. So I've tried new tactics, just like with my ex. I've tried being mean, being nice, ignoring it, providing space, etc. Nothing has worked and I think this is why: It is not something that can be fixed, just like my relationship with my ex-boyfriend. We can never go back to the way things were. We can look back fondly on memories, we can pray for each other, and we can support each other to a certain point. But you can't force a relationship. Relationships need some commonality. Sometimes people change to a point where they don't like to do the same things, they don't have many of the same friends, they don't like to talk about the same things. And that's ok. Diversity is a good thing but it doesn't mean we have to be best friends with everyone.

It was just too ironic, no too much a sign from God to see my ex today and to think about how silly I was to continually try to fix our relationship and then to hear a comment about fixing this current broken relationship. I like to fix things, it's just who I am. But there comes a point where things, like some relationships, can't just be mended. There is no clear cut line, there is no easy solution. But I know God has a reason for everything and I know that I have been tested and have learned from all that has happened in this situation.

This blog is not meant to offend, it is just my thoughts for the night. I continue to pray for all those in my life, especially those who may cause offense or pain for me.

Thanks to all for the support and prayer in this situation.

--Nothing Without Him--
Jenny

Lent, Week 1

This year for Lent, I am taking part in something that I actually did last year. It is a part of ACT:S, The World Vision Activism Network. Last year, I participated in the activities they had for celebrating and growing during Lent. It was called Lent 2011: Relentless Acts of Justice. Each week of Lent, you are told a story about a family or people from another country who experience in justice in different areas. Then, you are challenged to make sacrifices that emulate these injustices around the world. I learned a lot during this time and felt very challenged in my day to day life.

This year, I wanted to participate again. I signed up and so did Cassie and Tripp (which I am very excited about them joining me)! The challenges and experience is set up a little differently this year, asking for more creativity and less actual sacrifices. So, we decided to do the same activities as last year. There is a lot of variation and flexibility in the activities so I am able to do this without feeling like it's all something I've already done.

The first week, February 26-March3, was about Worthlessness. We learned of a mother who is in a situation where she is unable to help her children go to school or get proper nutrition. There is just extreme poverty where she is and she is stuck. It seems that in her culture, her children and her life are of little worth to others in the community. We were challenged to think of things that are of worth to us, like the food we eat and the luxuries we have access to every day. We were asked to either fast a meal a day or give up some luxuries or some variation of this. I decided to stop wearing contacts, to dress plainly (not jewelry or headbands), to not listen to music other than the radio, and to not eat snacks or buy extra food.

During this week, I was really appalled at the amount of luxuries we have. The list of things I could give up for a week was astounding. There are so may material things we take for granted each day!

We were challenged to think about how we value others and how we value the things we have in our life. We were challenged to think about what it means for someone or something to have worth. We were reminded how much God values us:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat, or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are

you than the birds!” --Luke 12:22-24

We were asked to pray for those around the world who are treated as worthless, those who don't know there is a God who values them so much, who is constantly seeking us and loving us. We were asked if we were valuing other people as much as God values them.

This was a great week and I am excited for what I will learn and see as we learn about Helplessness this week :)

Have a great week!!

--nothing without HIM--

Jenny

2011

I have been meaning to post a blog for a while. This semester has been so crazy. I should’ve been blogging to release some  the feelings I’ve been harboring this semester.

This is my 2011 recap blog. It has been quite a year. 2011 started out as a new start for me. It started with Passion in Atlanta, Georgia. I finally surrendered the issue I’d been clinging to for so long to God on that trip. I gave in, I let Him have it, I gave Him my life, including my love life, which I’d so desperately been trying to control. It was an amazing trip and I am so excited for this years’ trip to Passion. Here is a pic from last year:

After Passion, I started back at school, as an RA. I love my RA friends and I miss you all so much! We had so many good times that semester J I miss you all so much and really loved working with each and every one of you!! <3

As the semester continued, Spring break came and I went to New Orleans with Cassie, Amy and Lacy! It was our last spring break trip together (we have had some good ones :)! And it was so much fun!!!! Love you all!!!

 In March, my life changed again, in two ways. Firstly, I went on a church retreat with some amazing women to Pigeon Forge. It was a life changing trip for me. I grew so much closer to God and I decided to commit my life to God in a way I had never publically done before. I got up in front of the group and made a public commit to surrender my life to Him. This turned into my Baptism in May (more to come on that J

Also in March and April (and kinda February), I started talking to this boy. This boy, this boy I had known since freshman year of college. I’d always been a fan of him but this talk was different. This talk turned into the relationship that I am currently in and that brings so much bliss to my life. This boy is incredible. He is so good to me and I am so excited about our future together J

The semester ended in a very different way than it had begun. I was happily falling in love with Tripp, moving out of a dorm for the last time, and preparing for my Baptism. I was also having to say goodbye to two of my dearest college friends who were graduating. Lacy and Amy, I miss you all so much!! It’s crazy to not see you all anymore!!

I also had to say goodbye to some other amazing people, Martha (glad you’re close by girl!), Dustin Painter, Keith Marwitz. These are just a few of the wonderful people that were graduating and going on to do big things with their lives! I am so happy to know each of you! Keith and Dustin, you were my college friends before I was in college! I love that I can still call you both my friends! Martha! You're amazing! I look forward to seeing you lots more this next year, since you're so close!

Two Sunday’s after the semester ended, I was baptized. It was incredible, making that commitment to God and my church. It has been such a wonderful journey getting to be a part of the First United Methodist of Sylva community. There are some amazing people that have become such a big part of my life. I love my church family and could not do without the support and love they give me! Especially my accountability group that has become so important to me!

Also in May, I turned 21! My baby brother graduated from high school in the beginning of June!

Summer began with a wisdom teeth removal, moving in and super cleaning a house that Cassie and Emily and I moved into, and preparing for the biggest physical (and even spiritual) journey I’d every taken—the trip to Burkina Faso, Africa. I have blogs galore on this trip and pics on my facebook. This trip has changed the way I think about everything. It is just the beginning of the mission work that is in my future. I feel that God does want me to continue to do mission work and to lead mission trips and take a leadership role in being a disciple to His people. This is just the beginning.

After Africa, I jumped back into school, student teaching, life. There was a slight road bump when I had my first seizure. September 4^th, at 8 a.m., I seized. My first emergency room trip is now a total blur, can’t remember much at all. My catscan and EEG looked fine. The doctors (three of them), said I was probably just too stressed, not sleeping enough. We made adjustments at my house. Tripp, Cassie, Jenny D., and so many others helped drive me places, babysat me. They were amazing and I could not have gotten through this semester without all the help! It was so nice to have my church family praying. Things got back to normal and then I had another seizure, October 4^th. This time, the doctors thought something was up. A neurologist appointment was scheduled for December and I continued to adjust life. No night time driving, minimal driving of children, no long distance trips. This was a huge test for me. I am Miss Independent. I do things myself thank you very much. God was teaching me to slow down and to let other people be a part of my life and help me. He was teaching me to depend on Him, to focus on what’s important.

Finally, in December, we learned I have juvenile myoclonic epilepsy. It’s mild and is characterized by the tremors that I’ve had for years. With medicine, I should be able to live a normal life. It will not go away and I will always have to take medicine. This was hard for me to accept. But, the news really is fairly good news and this is something to be thankful for.  I have to be a little careful with my sleep and my stress level but other than this, I will be healthy J

Another huge thing happened in December. One of my best friends, Cassie Moore, graduated. I cannot believe she is graduating and leaving the house! She has been a huge source of comfort, help and strength this semester. I have had the honor of watching her grow, as a person and as a child of God. To see her faith grow as it has, I am just beyond happy for her. I don’t know what I will do without her this semester! She has helped me with everything, dealing with Africa, boys, friends, my shortcomings and insecurities, my seizure stuff, babysitting. She has been a huge source of encouragement this semester, and such a good friend for years. I hate to say goodbye to her so I am not doing it, not until she gets a job in Hawaii or something J Love you Cassie. So much! Always here for you!!!

It’s been quite a year. This about sums it up…lots of highs, lots of lows. The future that I have thought about for years seems so close…marriage, missions, my purpose in life, my teaching career…it all seems so real, so touchable where I am at now. I feel like my grown up life is beginning.

Anyways, happy New Year! May it be filled with blessings, even if there are trials. May it be filled with new beginnings, even if there are endings.

Nothing Without Him,

Jenny

Africa Part 4

Wow. This is taking me a really long time! Life has been crazy lately, with school and internship. I've also had 2 seizures in the past month-ish so that's been interesting.

But none of that matters tonight. I am back in Burkina tonight, reflecting on this crazy trip that seems so surreal now...

I ended the last blog with the morning we left Gaou, where we built the 'church.' Amazing night. Anyways, we left that morning and drove the 6 hours back to Ouga. On the way back, we stopped at a crocodile farm and sat on some crocs. It was cool :) We also fed them chickens. Neat experience.

The crocs were literally jumping of the ground. I can't explain the sound and sight of it. Crazy!

So, we got back to the guest house, caught up with the two sick girls, took showers in a real indoor shower, went to the bathroom in real toilets and got 'dressed up' for a dinner out that night. This was one of the hardest nights of the trip. We went to a restaurant, a fancy one, served better food then I've eaten in America, just after leaving those children and adults who eat maybe once a day and drink disgusting and disease infested water. How could there be a restaurant in this mess!? That's not fair. And why do we get to do this all the time? To take to go boxes and half the time not eat it later. To just leave it on our plates for them to throw away. So many go without food, why do we get to waste it? All that aside, here is a picture from that night. The restaurant was really neat, the floor was sand, so you could take your shoes off. The food was great. Just not fair.

The next day we spent resting. I woke up at 6 out of habit (and the roosters were up) went back to bed for a bit, til about 9. Took a nap at like 10:30 until lunch time. We went to the market this day where I bought the majority of stuff that I bought. Mostly gifts for people back home. It was crazy how many merchants there were. Ashlyn and I did the dishes that night, we tried to help Sam when he would let us.

The next day was Compassion day. This day was awesome. Several of the people in our group got to meet their Compassion kids. If you don't know what Compassion is, go here: http://www.compassion.com/default.htm It's an amazing organization, truly following God's word and changing lives.

Balkuy is where we visited the site. It was a church and a school. The kids don't go to school every day, or church. And there were kids there who weren't yet sponsored. When we arrived, we were a little late (which doesn't really matter because it's Burkina). The kids were lined up to sing for us. So completely precious. We went through and shook all of their hands. 100 something kids I think. They were so precious.

The teachers had like 4 classrooms with about 40 kids in each. It was so cool how the school worked. They taught in Moret (local language) and French so the kids could pick up on French if they knew Moret, which most did. The teachers were so enthusiastic. Clapping, singing, smiling the entire time they were teaching. They didn't discipline the kids or ask for the kids attention. They just taught their lessons about the Bible and God, manners, social skills, it was amazing. So different from American schools. They also played, a lot, which was great to see. It was amazing sitting in on the class and connecting with the kids, without even being able to speak their language.

We helped feed the kids lunch. On the floor is where they ate. Bowls of rice with one piece of meat in

it.

The kids were so precious. We had to eat our lunch, which was almost like theirs but we had soda, bottles of water and banana bread, with kids watching us. The unsponsored kids. It was so hard to eat and not give them any or just not throw up. So hard. The kids were just so sweet though. I didn't want to leave.

We went out again this night, after the team members with kids got to go out with their kids to a park. We went to an ice cream/burger place. It was so delicious but also just so surreal. It's just crazy in the middle of Burkina, in the middle of starving kids and dirty, diseased water people are drinking to sit in a diner. And see Burkinabe with cell phones and laptops. Craziness.

The next day, some people went to the zoo. I chose to stay at the guest house, pack and pray. I had lots of thinking to do. A few other older team members stayed at the house. But as promised to a few people, I got pictures from people who did go to the zoo of elephants and giraffes :)

Sam made his amazing doughnuts that morning. They were so good. I think I ate three....we packed. We threw a bunch of stuff in a container to leave for the missionaries. Then, we debriefed as a team. This was hard. I think we all ended up crying. It was just scary and difficult talking about the trip, about the people we had met, the children. And we were leaving it all. How were we going to talk about it? It doesn't do it justice, these blogs and talking about it. It is just nothing like actually being there. The first missionaries to Burkina packed their things in a coffin. They knew it was a lifelong trip and they would not make it back. It was that dangerous. And I was scared to come for 10 days!? The faith of others amazes me. I want a faith like that. LikeLarry, to live there for 7years, raise his child there, take his wife. Move away from everything, get malaria 2 times a year, on average. Crazy!

It was a humbling experience. Incredible. Crazy. Painful. Tough. Hot. Exhausting. Exhilarating. Intense. I realized how weak I can be, how strong my God is. I became angry at the American church. Angry at myself. Frustrated with God at times.Why were these people living like this? I still don't have all of the answers. I am still trying to process.

Coming back to real life was really hard. I wasn't ready for it and it started so quickly. I often just want to quit and go back to Burkina. But it was truly tough being there.

I have much more to say but will leave it at this for now. This concludes the information about the trip. I want to do one more blog on just pictures. I'll save that for another night. Thanks for reading.

--nothing without Him,

Jenny

Africa: Part 3

Wow, it has been awhile since I have blogged! Let me try to finish up the Bush trip tonight, and then soon hopefully I can finish up the WHOLE trip!

So, I ended with describing what the church looked like before, that many of our team was sick, boys were doing most of the work and the kids were precious.

At lunch time, we halted work to eat. We also had to wait on one of the missionaries to return from bringing the two sick girls back up to Ouaga. He had some tools we needed. Dusty killed this chicken for our dinner:

It was very messy! At this point in the day, clouds were forming and we hadn't even started putting the tin roof on the foundations we had put up. Larry arrived with the materials we needed and we realized we had to work quickly. A lady in town offered to let us stay in her house, which was very surprising as the people were not very receptive to Christians. The children in the village helped us bring our stuff to her house.



The work for the roof just took a couple people at a time. Nick and Hannah worked on it for one side, Nick and Susan on the other.

Amazing enough, with God's help, we finished the roof with no rain. This is when my heart really started to break. Please, take a moment to think about the churches in America that you've been to. Just think about what they look like, what kind of technology was used at the services, the music. This is what their church looked like.



Just a roof. And some posts. That's it. We need air conditioning, huge sanctuaries, gyms, classrooms, kitchens, PowerPoint's, lights, music, sound systems. All they wanted was this roof. This small area, no floor and no walls. That's it. The pastor of this church pastors a few other churches in the area. One man, Timothy, is in a wheel chair. It takes him two hours to get to the church every Sunday. We barely find the motivation to wake up by 10 am to drive 10 minutes to church in our cars with AC/heat. And we will never have the same faith they have. We would never consider worshiping all night. Or without air conditioning. We don't need God like they do.

After we finished dinner and started worshiping, it started to rain. Everyone took shelter in the church which gave the pastor an opportunity to give a message about truly knowing God. Do you really know Him? It was such a good sermon. And it was amazing because it was barely raining, just enough for us to get in the church, but not too much. All around us, it was thundering and lightening. Satan was furious at us and at the work we were doing but he couldn't get in to stop us. Our God is stronger. He is bigger.

They worshiped all night. I mean from 7 pm to 6 am. Amazing. Humbling. Heart breaking.

That night we slept at the kind woman's house. I felt very uncomfortable in the house, it was a tight fit, so I slept outside with a few others, even though it was still raining some. This was one of the nights where I felt a taste of what it was like to truly depend on God. I didn't stop praying until I fell asleep. I prayed for no rain. I prayed for the people of that village, for all the people we were meeting. I prayed for the lady whose house we were at, with fetishes outside. I depended on Him for my safety, comfort, for everything that night and for the whole trip really. I was totally out of control on this trip, having know idea where I was or how to speak to most of the people. I was trusting Him completely. This is something we rarely have to do in America.

We packed up the next morning, my heart so broken. Before we left, it broke again. We asked the Pastor, this amazing man who runs 4 churches and who spoke with more conviction and passion than I had heard back in the States. He got on his knees so we could pray for him.

We prayed, loaded the vans and headed back to Ouaga. Back to showers and real bathrooms. Back to the comforts of beds under roofs every night. A less limited supply of water.

This is it for tonight. I'll try to finish up soon. Thanks for reading!

--Nothing Without Him--
Jenny