Africa: Part 2

Saturday of the trip is when it gets kinda crazy. We woke up early, around 4 a.m., and loaded up the vans by 5 to make the journey to Pondou, an area in the Bush where we would be attending a wedding and staying the night. It was the wedding of a friend Kevin had made years ago, Jehojakim. It was a big deal, there would be many big name pastors at the wedding, as well as at least 2 missionary teams.

When we headed out that morning, a few people on the team were already feeling sick. The plan was to go to the wedding Saturday and stay the night there and then drive to Gauo the next day to help put a roof on a church in a very unreached and dark area. We were going to a crazy place to do big work with God.

The drive took about 5 hours on roads that look like this:

It was rough driving. We got 3 flat tires total on the 3 day trip. We stopped on the side of the road for breakfast and to use the bathroom (aka the bushes). At this point, 3 people I think were sick.

When we got to the wedding, we were a little bit late. But it didn't matter because in Burkina, nothing is on time. Everyone is always late. We arrived at about 10:30 a.m. and went inside the hot church, it was packed but there was room for us. People made sure of it, because we were white. When you're white in Burkina, you are treated way too nice. People get seats for you, feed you, and are just so happy to meet you. Most of the time, not everyone is this way.

The wedding lasted until after 2 p.m. It was quite an event. People were singing and dancing. The local youth group came in (they acted like American boy/girl scouts, wearing uniforms and carrying flags in). Different people spoke and prayed, including some very high up CMA people. The couple sat down in the front of the church while people sang to them.

It was quite an experience. To be honest, it was hot and uncomfortable and I felt sick and exhausted. I thought I might pass out or fall asleep sitting there.

We walked over to the reception where several Burkinabe left the reception area so that we could sit. Just because we're white. I didn't know the bride or groom. I didn't have a right to be in that reception when that meant that some of the bride or groom's friends couldn't sit and eat with them. I felt terrible. By this point, most of us weren't feeling that great physically. But we ate what we could and then left to go set up our sleeping area for the evening. It gets dark in Burkina at 6 pm so we had to set it up before then.

We had a 'bathroom' at our place, which means we had a brick wall around a concrete floor with a hole in the middle to use. The picture above is one such bathroom. (A bush outside was almost better sometimes). We also had a shower area where we could take a bucket bath (most of us didn't that night). I set up my cot inside that night, as we had a room for some of us to sleep in.

The Burkinabe people danced and sang all night in celebration of the wedding that night.

The stars were incredible that night. You could literally see the milky way. We took some neat pictures that night.

Okay, day 2 in the bush, Sunday. We woke up and went to church. They started the church service early for us, 7:30 I think, because they knew we needed to head out early that day. It was an interesting service. The people sang and their rhythm and music is so different from ours. We sang a song, Blessed Be the Name, and it sounded so weird in comparison.

The pastor talked about how God is our shepherd and leads us where need to go. He provides us with all we need. That's how the people live out their faith in Burkina.They have so little. They need Him to provide each meal, clothes to wear, water to drink (not clean water might I add). Everything comes from Him. We have no idea how to live out this kind of faith. We have our savings accounts and tons of grocery stores and restaurants to eat it. We have no idea how to depend on God instead of ourselves.

The village fed us that morning and then we hit the road. There was still a lot of sickness in the group. We drove about 3 hours to a village where we were meeting a girl named Lati. Kevin had met her 4 years ago. She was crippled and her family was starving her because she was of no use. Kevin wanted to help. He raised $800 in a week back in America to pay for her surgery. After that, she was fine. She was running and walking like other kids and her family was feeding her again. He hadn't seen her in 3 years. This Lati with one of the missionaries who is actually from Franklin.

It was such a privilege watching Kevin interact with this little girl who he loved so much, who he had given a new life. We met her brother and father in the village and we drove Lati and her brother back to their home village. It was on the way to our next stop Gauo. Lati was very fun to watch, very mischievous little girl!! When we dropped her off, she just stood at the road waiting, wanting to come back to us. It was heartbreaking leaving her.

We drove another 3ish hours to our destination. We stayed just outside of Gaou that night in the village where the pastor lived. He is the pastor of 4 churches, one of which we were roofing the next day. We drank some tea and ate spaghetti that night (spaghetti in the middle of nowhere, cooked over a fire--our cook was amazing!) We were prepped some for the next day. Two of our team missionaries who are living in Burkina (Kalen and Susan) had already been to the area we were going to. There was a lot of witchcraft and it was very spiritually dark. The people were not too fond of us white missionary folks. But, since their first visit, the people invited us to stay in their actual village that next night. This was a very big deal.

I took a bucket bath that night and I kinda liked it. I slept inside again because we weren't sure if we would have that luxury the next night. And it didn't really feel like being inside too much because the windows were just open holes and the doorway was open too.

The next morning, Monday, we were packing up to leave. Two of our girls were very sick. Kevin and Larry decided to send them back up to Ouaga that day. Larry would drive halfway and meet another long term missionary, Pete, who would take the girls to Ouaga and to the hospital. It was really hard watching them go.

A few of us headed to the work site. I was expecting to see walls and a roofless church ready for us. This is what I saw instead.

Just some poles in the ground waiting for a roof. No walls. Here is the church that was already there.

I had to bend over to get inside. And I am short. The people were definitely more shy towards us than others. We set up the scaffolding and the boys mostly worked while us girls did easy work, like putting nails in this tar stuff to use later. We also had the opportunity to talk to the kids. I know a little french so I was able to find out names and ages and ask about school and church. I also asked the kids if they like to play soccer (it's very popular in Burkina). This is Dappel. Such a cutie.





We danced and sang with the kids as there wasn't too much work for all of us to do. The four guys were capable of doing all the work. We took more pictures. Here are some friends I made.

They were so precious. All of them.

Many of our team was still sick. The sickness during this 3 day trip can be easily explained. As I said earlier, we were going to a dark place. Satan did not want us to go. He did not want us to do God's work. Sickness and hardship sometimes comes when you are working for God.

Getting the church up is kind of a story in itself so this is going to be the end of this blog. Sorry it's so long :)

Africa: Part 1

I’ve been trying to write this blog since the day I got home. I just don’t know how to start. It’s going to be a long one, or a series of long ones. But bear with me and I’ll try to highlight important parts.

How was Africa? I keep getting asked that question. And so many thoughts come to mind. Humbling. Incredible. Intense. Hard. Life changing. Crazy. Enlightening.

I’m just gonna start with day 1 and see what happens.

Monday, July 25^th. We left Franklin together, the team of 11, on a bus headed to the Atlanta airport. Our flight was at like 5 or 6, leaving ATL and headed to Paris. I was mostly excited, a little nervous. As I sent my last texts for the next 12 days, I realized how much I would miss everyone. But I was too excited to care too much.

 

We got to Paris at like 8 am Paris time. Our flight left after a couple hours and we stopped in Niger on the way to Burkina. Flying over the Sahara desert was really cool. I have always been fascinated by deserts.

The airport in Burkina was crazy. The plane doors opened to the outdoors, to stairs leading straight down to the landing strip. A little bus took us the 500 feet to the airport. It was crazy in the airport, especially coming from Atlanta and Paris. There were ceiling tiles out, not much air flowing, not really terminals, no stores of any kind. We met up with the missionary who would be with us for our trip, Larry. He lead us outside where a bunch of Burkniabe (people from Burkina) were trying to sell us hotel reservations, eggs, all sorts of things. All French speaking, very overwhelming.
 

We get in the van and head to the guesthouse where we would be staying for most of the trip. The guesthouse is the upstairs of Larry’s house. Larry lives with his wife and 17 year old son. They have been in Burkina for 7 years.

 

The roads were absolutely insane. There were women in dresses and heels riding around on motos and bicycles right next to the car, like 2 feet from our windows! It was insane. There were markets set up all over the streets. People everywhere, so many people! The clothes were very diverse. People would walk up to the car to try to sell us stuff.

 

We made it to the guesthouse and introduced ourselves to Larry. We met our cook, Sam. He spoke English and French and cooked the most amazing food. He made American stuff for us but it was so different since it was made with products that weren’t processed like American food. We had tacos the first night.

 

There were 6 girls in the room I stayed in. Thankfully, we had air conditioning which we were allowed to use at night. We had a sink and a shower, but no hot water, which we didn’t need anyways. We had to brush our teeth with filtered water from our water bottles/cups and we couldn’t open our mouths in the shower. This was sometimes tricky to remember. One night, one of the girls put her toothbrush under the faucet twice! We had to boil water to clean it in.

 

The sun went down at 6 and we were all tired from flying so soon after dinner and introductions, we went to bed.

 

The next few days we stayed in Ouagadougou, which is the capitol of Burkina. (Call it Ouaga for short). We worked at an Elementary School that had been established by the church. We only worked half days and that’s really all I could work. The sun was so intense and I am apparently super weak. That was one thing I realized on this trip—I don’t do manual labor enough. I can pay people to mow my lawn and other things like that so all this outdoor labor was difficult. Which is ridiculous of me.

And the kids. They worked so hard. It was incredible. Who knows how much they had to eat that day but they were out there, taking our tools and working way harder than us. It was crazy and very humbling.

They also chased our vans in and out of their villages. Every time we drove up, they would chase us. I sat in the back most of the time and there was a ladder on the back of the van. The kids would try to climb it and I had to tell them not to. Heartbreaking.

On one of the days in Ouaga, we took a tour of the city. We went and saw the rich parts of town, which exist. Embassy members, government officials, business men and their families live here. The presidents house had four street lanes as his driveway. We then went to Sector 30, where people were living in huts. There was a giant hole of trash and mud. And so many children. All just running around, no parents in sight most of the time. This just blew my mind. I kept thinking, what are they doing all day? But what else were they to do but run around and play and try to find food to eat. They have no toys, no tv, no school some of them.



Their houses were the size of a dorm room. No bathrooms for some people, just holes.

I think that's all I can do right now. Part 1 of the trip. Saturday of the trip, it gets crazy. That's going to be a whole blog in itself, those few days in the Bush.

Ughhh

I'm frustrated and scared.

My phone stopped charging without warning Tuesday so I have been phone less all week. This has made making last minute, pre-Africa plans very difficult. I have been unable to do several little things I needed to do before Monday. I got an old phone today but I cannot get my contacts until I go to the Verizon store tomorrow. And I don't how to use it which is stressing me out.

I'm trying to buy and pack everything. For once, it's not the money stressing me out thanks to the many, many donations people have given me. It's more the fact that if I forget something, I won't be able to just go to Wal-mart when I get there. There are no Wal-marts in Burkina. So if I forget, I best be able to live without it for two weeks.

I'm house sitting with Cassie this week which means I'm not even getting to sleep in my own bed these last few days. And this makes me uncomfortable and unhappy but it's also ridiculous to be this upset about something so little, especially since we are getting paid (a lot) to do this.

Every time someone asks me if I need help getting ready, it makes me like angry for some reason. So I've been very irritable and rude to people lately...

I miss Tripp way too much and we've only been apart like a day and half. This scares me.

I feel like there are still a million things to do before Monday, which makes my head hurt and heavy and I get stop thinking which makes sleeping very hard.

I don't think I get to see Erika or Matthew before I leave, which kinda scares me. I'd like to say bye to my siblings in person before I leave. And I haven't been able to text them either.....

But what is the scariest part of all this is the simple fact that I am this stressed and freaked out. If I really believed what I say than I would just surrender all this to God and trust Him that it will all work out, that the whole point of this trip is to bring glory to Him not to stress myself out. I would be focusing on the fact that He is more than enough for me and that He can take care of all of this, if I let Him. But I'm finding that very hard to do.

Prayers please. Prayers that I stop being crazy and just trust Him.

"Let It All Out"

Thursday's I go to Franklin for a book club meeting for my Africa team. We are reading a book called "When Helping Hurts." Parts of it are very difficult to read, especially if you are involved in missions or any kind of ministry that serves the poor, but I HIGHLY recommend this book.

This weeks chapter was specific to short term missions, which I am involved in right now. I have never gone anywhere on a mission trip. But I attended a church, First Alliance, when the leader of our group, Kevin, took his first team to Burkina Faso. It is a country in Africa that Kevin has been involved in every since he took the first team in 2005 (I think). He has gone several times and I am unbelievably excited to be going with him this time.

But I am also getting very scared. Firstly, the book really convicted me and has made me think a lot about why I am going. Am I going for the experience for myself? Am I going because this is what God wants me to do? Will I actually be helping people? Spreading the Gospel? Forming genuine relationships with people through Christ? Honestly, I think it's a little bit of all this. I pray that I will be helping and not hurting. I know I am going a little for my own experience.

But I think the experience is necessary for everyone who lives in America. We are so spoiled. We have so much. Even the poorest person here has more than the majority of people living in Burkina. I mean, we have public transportation here in America, clean water, soup kitchens. This doesn't exist in Burkina, or in many countries. We don't even understand just how rich we really are until we see it and I cannot wait to see it and to really get it.

MAIN REASON I am writing tonight though is that I think God is doing so much more in my life through this trip. This trip is going to turn my world upside down. He is going to break my heart with what I see and what I feel and with what I want to do. I have not been on a mission trip yet so I am not sure if this will hold true. But tonight I just got this feeling that this 2 week trip is not going to satisfy me. I am starting to feel that God wants me to do more. That He maybe wants to use me in full time missions. And this is before I have even set foot in Africa so it may change--the feeling might get stronger. And this scares me so badly.

Full time missions. Leaving the comforts of this country. Leaving my family for long periods at a time. I can't even imagine how this conversation would go with my mother, it would break her heart! Not just because she will miss me. But I feel that my mother and father so love this country; they don't desire to go anywhere else. And I love America too. I have so many luxuries here, God has blessed me. However, I have to go and share it and share the good news with those that don't know it. I have to do what He calls me to do, no matter what sacrifices I have to make. And I don't want to do something that will upset my family, my friends, those that I love. But I want to do what God has called me to do.

My heart longs for my eternal home. And sometimes, I feel very alone, aside from my God who is always with me. I know I have people I can talk to about all this, maybe even people who feel the same way. The church I am involved with is so supportive, it's been such a blessing. I think it's this idea that I don't belong here. This is just a stop on the way to eternity with God. I am here to do His work and then, one blessed day, I will go on to join Him in all His glory and I will be with Him forever.  

This is a lot tonight. I just feel scared and overwhelmed and all I know to do is pray. I especially pray for the people who will be around me these next few months especially; I think this will just get more intense after I actually go to Africa.

Last, I want to leave on this blog some lyrics to a Relient K song that came to my mind as I wrote this blog. I think for God to work in my life, He has to break my heart. Africa will do that. I want to be ready for it. Here are the lyrics. Thanks for reading and have a blessed week!

"Let it all out
Get it all out
Rip it out remove it
Don't be alarmed
When the wound begins to bleed

Cause we're so scared to find out
What this life's all about
So scared we're going to lose it
Not knowing all along
That's exactly what we need

And today I will trust you with the confidence
Of a man who's never known defeat
But tomorrow, upon hearing what I did
I will stare at you in disbelief

[Chorus:]
And you said I know that this will hurt
But if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember
The end will justify the pain it took to get us there
And I'll let it be known
At times I have shown
Signs of all my weakness
But somewhere in me
There is strength

And you promise me
That you believe
In time I will defeat this
Cause somewhere in me
There is strength

And today I will trust you with the confidence
Of a man who's never known defeat
And I'll try my best to just forget
That that man isn't me

Reach out to me
Make my heart brand new
Every beat will be for you
For you

And I know you know
You touched my life
When you touched my heavy heart and made it light"

Crazy Love

This phrase is just the motto of 2011 for me, in so many ways.

My heart is full of love right now. I started out the year with a trip to Passion Conference in Atlanta, GA. It was an amazing, uplifting experience where I was able to spend a few days making friendships with people my age in the Spirit of the Lord. We worshiped together, learned together, prayed together. It was wonderful.

In February I think, I attended a Crazy Love retreat with some women from my church. It was incredible. the speaker was amazing, the women were uplifting. It was an intense weekend and near the end I recommitted my life to Christ and made the decision to be baptized. It was kind of the first time that I really got it, that I really started to understand His crazy love for us. The He made the stars and the universe and the ants and trees and He made you and me and He loves us so much that He gave His only son for us. Crucifixion and humiliation and suffering for our sins. So that we might know Him and enter into our Heavenly home one day.

So the past couple of months I have been growing spiritually but I have also been experiencing a different kind of love. I have never felt this before. I have never dated much, I've only been in one serious relationship previous to the one I'm in now. But after the first relationship, a year and half ago it ended I think, I was a mess. I wasn't where I am today spiritually and I think this had a huge impact on how the relationship affected me. I felt like I was alone and like I just wasn't worth anything. I felt so helpless and vulnerable and unloved, and I have never felt like that before. I think it was a combination of factors--the boy probably wasn't the best guy I should've been with. I had kind of rushed things and I had become emotionally attached very quickly. I had made him such a priority in my every day life that I didn't know what to do without him. It was bad. But through that, I learned what heartbreak was like. I learned what not to do in future relationships. And I learned that I was not spiritually strong. If I was aware of God's immense and crazy love for me, I wouldn't need the love of a boy so much. I learned this through a few bible studies I attended in the year (and continuing) after the break up. I realized it didn't matter what the boys on this earth feel about me because my Heavenly father, my creator, my savior, He loves me with all of my faults, with all of my sins, with all of my baggage. Always and forever not just while it's convienient or fun.

Anyways, after all of this, the past couple of months I have been experiencing new love. And I don't like getting emotional or mushy or anything like that. But I have to try to articulate what is going on in my head and my heart even though I don't really know how to. I have been reading a book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan. It's what our retreat was based on. It's about God's crazy love for us and how we should be responding with a consatant, whole-hearted, crazy love for Him in return. It's very convicting, I highly recommend it, Chan is an inspirational man, truly trying to live his life for Christ. In the book, there is a chapter titled, "When You're In Love." 

Now, don't misunderstand me here. Typically what I get out of the book is how to strengthen my relationship with God, how to love Him more, how to serve Him and others every day. There will be a book closing blog all about that, I promise. But with this chapter I realized something else, about romantic love, not Godly love. With my limited relationship experience, I am not quite on the same page as most of the other people at the book study I attend for this book. They are mostly married or have been married before, etc. They have two views on what crazy love is, I assume. One for our Heavenly father and one for their spouse.

Here is where I am not going to say much because it's personal and honestly it scares me and writing it all down makes it more real. There is a paragraph in the chapter about when you're in love.

"When you are truly in love, you go to great lenths to be with the one you love. You'll drive for hours to be together, even if it's only for a short while. you don't mind staying up late to talk...When you are apart from each other, it's painful even miserable. He or she is all you think about; you jump at any chance to be together."

My current romantic situation is wonderful. As I was reading this excerpt, I just kinda got scared honestly. I am dating a boy who I have known for a couple years but have only been romantically involved with a couple months. But some of this already rings true. Especially the being-apart-being-painful thing. Now don't worry, I'm not going to jump the gun here and rush anything. I'm just taking it a day at a time. Just one text/phone call/face-to-face conversation at a time. I am 21, no need for big commitments. But my mind just looks back to this passage and thinks about the feelings I have right now and the feelings Chan describes as those you have when you're crazy in love.

That's all I really want to say. No dilemma, I don't need advice or anything. I just needed to write down somewhere that I'm so full of love right now. Love for my God, my merciful, gracious, mighty savior. Love for my family and friends who are always very supportive no matter what. And love for this boy, who has filled these last few months with an earthly joy that I had not up to this point experienced.

Crazy love is the theme for this year for me. I am experiencing it on so many levels. I am overwhelmed and overjoyed.

Completely Overwhelmed

I'm not sure where to begin. My heart and my mind are so full right now. For many reasons.

Today, something I surrendered to God months ago came to a climax. Months ago, I decided to go to Africa on a mission trip. It was something I'd wanted to do for years but was too scared about money and being spiritually prepared and other little things. I finally just decided to do it--I knew God was calling me to. I began to worry about money as looked at the medicines I would need, the payments we had to make. After some time worrying, I stopped and I listened to scripture. Philippians 4:6 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Why not practice what I preach? Truly live out what the bible says. That's what we should be doing anyways right?!

Anyway, I stopped worrying, I started praying. I still worked and attempted to find a new job, which I found in May (thank you Lord for providing). I fund raised, asked friends and families for donations. And then, two amazing things happened. First, I was shown support from my amazing new church family at First United Methodist of Sylva. I say new because I was recently (May 15th) baptized and joined the church. Another member and I are going on this trip and one of the groups organized a spaghetti lunch for us to raise money for the trip. We raised enough for each of us to have $500 towards our trip!!! AMAZING! I thought I was overwhelmed. I was definitely overjoyed. God was so good. Then, today, I visited a friend whose family I have been friends with for a few years. They said they would donate. When I got there, I was handed a check for a donation of $400.

Time out.

• The total trip (minus visa and medicines) is $1500.
• With other donations I have received from friends, families and neighbors, I had raised $670.
• That plus the spaghetti lunch ($500), plus the amazing, outrageous, incredible donation from my friends family ($400) equals $1570.
• That's more than I needed.
• That means that will pay for some of the medicines I still need.
• WOAH!

This completely generous, self-less, crazy donation has put me over what I need. I am completely, totally 100% overwhelmed not only by the generosity and love of the people in my life but also of how God provides. When I finally trusted Him, gave it all to Him, let Him have my worries and concerns; He came through as it says in His word. He always provides, He is more than we need. Why is it so hard to remember this.

And as I looked up that scripture, Philippians 4:6, again tonight, I read the next verse. Verse 7 "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Amazing. He is so good, so gracious, so mighty and yet He will guard our hearts. If we let Him.

Just something to think about. Much more in my heart and mind right now, but this for starters.

Beginning to Blog

I have never really been into blogs. But recently, I am feeling overwhelmed at the changes in my life, my heart and my mind. I need to release these new ideas and feelings that are invading my mind, and I thought a blog would be a good way to do so. I am not doing this so I can get followers and comments—I am doing this to articulate what is going on in my mind and heart so that my thoughts will be better organized in my head and my heart when I speak to others in real life and as I carry out the works God created me to do.

I chose this scripture to represent my blog because I love how Paul writes that we, God’s people, should shine like stars when we live our lives for Him. I want to be a star in this crazy world; I want to be an example of how Jesus lived and loved. I am still learning every day how to be more like Jesus and how to live in this world. One way I am doing so is by being baptized, joining a church and becoming involved in different book and bible studies that focus on living as Jesus did.

In this blog I will probably share much of what I am reading and learning from the book/bible studies. I will also use this blog while I am on a mission trip in Africa next month. This is another exciting way that I am living my life for Him—going and making disciples in other nations.

There will also probably be lots of pictures and lots of random information about my life. Just whatever is giving me particular emotion that present day—I will write about it.

I look forward to sharing my thoughts on here. If you’re reading this, beware. I am on quite a spiritual ride at the moment and am feeling quite passionate about many things. This passion may cause intense and/or unorganized blogs.

Let the blogging begin!

Nothing-Without-You,

Jenny