Friday, July 22, 2011


I'm frustrated and scared.

My phone stopped charging without warning Tuesday so I have been phone less all week. This has made making last minute, pre-Africa plans very difficult. I have been unable to do several little things I needed to do before Monday. I got an old phone today but I cannot get my contacts until I go to the Verizon store tomorrow. And I don't how to use it which is stressing me out.

I'm trying to buy and pack everything. For once, it's not the money stressing me out thanks to the many, many donations people have given me. It's more the fact that if I forget something, I won't be able to just go to Wal-mart when I get there. There are no Wal-marts in Burkina. So if I forget, I best be able to live without it for two weeks.

I'm house sitting with Cassie this week which means I'm not even getting to sleep in my own bed these last few days. And this makes me uncomfortable and unhappy but it's also ridiculous to be this upset about something so little, especially since we are getting paid (a lot) to do this.

Every time someone asks me if I need help getting ready, it makes me like angry for some reason. So I've been very irritable and rude to people lately...

I miss Tripp way too much and we've only been apart like a day and half. This scares me.

I feel like there are still a million things to do before Monday, which makes my head hurt and heavy and I get stop thinking which makes sleeping very hard.

I don't think I get to see Erika or Matthew before I leave, which kinda scares me. I'd like to say bye to my siblings in person before I leave. And I haven't been able to text them either.....

But what is the scariest part of all this is the simple fact that I am this stressed and freaked out. If I really believed what I say than I would just surrender all this to God and trust Him that it will all work out, that the whole point of this trip is to bring glory to Him not to stress myself out. I would be focusing on the fact that He is more than enough for me and that He can take care of all of this, if I let Him. But I'm finding that very hard to do.

Prayers please. Prayers that I stop being crazy and just trust Him.