Wednesday, January 15, 2014

What Cancer Won't Change

I have learned a lot over the past couple of months. More than I ever wanted to learn about cancer.

Cancer is complicated. The diagnoses are confusing. Nothing is certain. It seems to be a lot of guess work. For me, it's a lot of prayer.

The day before her 46th birthday, my mom found out she had cancer. She found out it was in 2 spots of her body, it being classified as metastatic stage 4 cancer. I didn't realize the seriousness of it at the time, although I've come to understand more over the past few months.

My mom started chemo almost immediately after the diagnosis. She wanted to take action quickly because her type of cancer spreads quickly. I could say a lot about this cancer thing but I think I will tell you about my amazing mother instead. I am writing instead of what cancer won't change, no matter how hard it tries.

My mom is strong. I would have said this before cancer, but I am realizing just how strong she is during this journey. She doesn't flinch at the needles being put in her. She shrugs off the fact that she has been in so many different doctor's offices the past few months. She continues to work at her job and to work out at the gym during chemo. She is the strongest woman I know, maybe the strongest person.

My mom is beautiful. I love this picture of her from high school. I can see who I know as my mom in this picture, but she also looks so different. I see a beautiful, curly haired, sparkling young woman. She is just beautiful. I have always thought so, even though she doesn't agree when I say so.  

My mom is loved. She is so much more than my mom. She has so many friends, so much of a past that doesn't involve us kids. I have seen some of these people on facebook and it is encouraging to know that so many people love my mom & care so much for her. Even people I do not know. These people are praying for my siblings & I too, just because they love my mom so much. She has touched so many lives. It's really amazing to see how many people know her.

My mom married a really good guy. I have always loved my dad of course, but I have seen this whole new side of him since October. He is doing everything he possibly can to support my mom. He is changing his diet, taking vitamins, switching his schedule to be with her. He is taking her to do anything and everything she wants to do. I have always admired their relationship, they are so loving towards each other. It is a love that I hope my husband and I will have.

My mom had a wonderful mom, my mim. I wish I had known her longer. Mim died of breast cancer when I was young, I think ten or so. But my mom always speaks of her so lovingly. She sounds like a wonderful mom. My mom is the youngest of 5 kids. Her siblings are also wonderful. My mom speaks fondly of growing up with them, even though she was the baby and the oldest sibling is several years older than my mom.

My mom is fun. I never had any of those 'my mom is the worst' stories while growing up. We had our arguments and we still do. But I never remember thinking that I hated or or desperately wanting to get out of the house. She knows more Katy Perry songs than me. More dance moves too. She was just as excited to see the Plain White T's live as I was.  She still acts like she's in her twenties and jokes around just as much as my dad. My friends liked hanging out with her and I wanted her to come visit me at college. She is silly and adventurous and has a contagiously joyous spirit.

My mom has taught me so much and is always there for me. I am so blessed to know her and to be her daughter. I would not be the person I am today without her. I can't write down everything she's done for me because there is much more than I even know. 

Anyways, I am writing this just to remind her how much she means to me. Just to encourage her, to show her that I love her so much! She can and will beat this cancer. God is using this to remind me of how wonderful she is, of how fragile life is, and of how strong He is. Cancer can't take away any of these wonderful traits that my mom possesses. 

It's been quite a journey and there is more to come. But I know my mom will stay strong. 

~Nothing Without Him~


  1. TOO sweet! Your Mom is great and so is her daughter! <3

  2. This brought tears to my eyes! I am so lucky to know your mom and to count her as one of my dearest friends for many years now. I knew her before she married your dad, I helped to throw her bridal shower and I was there at their wedding. I love your mom with all my heart, and that too will never change!

  3. Thanks Mindy <3
    Flora, I know you mean so much to her and even though I don't know if we've ever met, I appreciate your love and support for my mom so much! I am so glad she has such amazing friends!