What Cancer Won't Change

I have learned a lot over the past couple of months. More than I ever wanted to learn about cancer.

Cancer is complicated. The diagnoses are confusing. Nothing is certain. It seems to be a lot of guess work. For me, it's a lot of prayer.

The day before her 46th birthday, my mom found out she had cancer. She found out it was in 2 spots of her body, it being classified as metastatic stage 4 cancer. I didn't realize the seriousness of it at the time, although I've come to understand more over the past few months.

My mom started chemo almost immediately after the diagnosis. She wanted to take action quickly because her type of cancer spreads quickly. I could say a lot about this cancer thing but I think I will tell you about my amazing mother instead. I am writing instead of what cancer won't change, no matter how hard it tries.

My mom is strong. I would have said this before cancer, but I am realizing just how strong she is during this journey. She doesn't flinch at the needles being put in her. She shrugs off the fact that she has been in so many different doctor's offices the past few months. She continues to work at her job and to work out at the gym during chemo. She is the strongest woman I know, maybe the strongest person.

My mom is beautiful. I love this picture of her from high school. I can see who I know as my mom in this picture, but she also looks so different. I see a beautiful, curly haired, sparkling young woman. She is just beautiful. I have always thought so, even though she doesn't agree when I say so.  

My mom is loved. She is so much more than my mom. She has so many friends, so much of a past that doesn't involve us kids. I have seen some of these people on facebook and it is encouraging to know that so many people love my mom & care so much for her. Even people I do not know. These people are praying for my siblings & I too, just because they love my mom so much. She has touched so many lives. It's really amazing to see how many people know her.

My mom married a really good guy. I have always loved my dad of course, but I have seen this whole new side of him since October. He is doing everything he possibly can to support my mom. He is changing his diet, taking vitamins, switching his schedule to be with her. He is taking her to do anything and everything she wants to do. I have always admired their relationship, they are so loving towards each other. It is a love that I hope my husband and I will have.

My mom had a wonderful mom, my mim. I wish I had known her longer. Mim died of breast cancer when I was young, I think ten or so. But my mom always speaks of her so lovingly. She sounds like a wonderful mom. My mom is the youngest of 5 kids. Her siblings are also wonderful. My mom speaks fondly of growing up with them, even though she was the baby and the oldest sibling is several years older than my mom.

My mom is fun. I never had any of those 'my mom is the worst' stories while growing up. We had our arguments and we still do. But I never remember thinking that I hated or or desperately wanting to get out of the house. She knows more Katy Perry songs than me. More dance moves too. She was just as excited to see the Plain White T's live as I was.  She still acts like she's in her twenties and jokes around just as much as my dad. My friends liked hanging out with her and I wanted her to come visit me at college. She is silly and adventurous and has a contagiously joyous spirit.

My mom has taught me so much and is always there for me. I am so blessed to know her and to be her daughter. I would not be the person I am today without her. I can't write down everything she's done for me because there is much more than I even know. 

Anyways, I am writing this just to remind her how much she means to me. Just to encourage her, to show her that I love her so much! She can and will beat this cancer. God is using this to remind me of how wonderful she is, of how fragile life is, and of how strong He is. Cancer can't take away any of these wonderful traits that my mom possesses. 

It's been quite a journey and there is more to come. But I know my mom will stay strong. 

~Nothing Without Him~

Jenny

23 Things Post

There is a blog someone posted about 23 things to do instead of getting engaged before 23. When I first read it, I didn't really think too much about it, even though I got married at the age of 23.

There have since been several posts & blogs concerning this girls post. I thought about writing my own for awhile defending my marriage & how I made the choice knowing that divorce wasn't an option for my husband and I, no matter how young we are; defending how happy we are & how there are more meaningful things to do in a year than some of the things this young lady posted.

My mindset changed dramatically today when I read two posts by strangers of the original author. They berated this girl for her post, called her names, & were judgmental of her life. This made me sick to see people trashing one another & judging one another over a simple blog post!

I see it all the time on these social media outlets & I realized today that I've become accustomed to it. It's totally normal to post hurtful words about another human being because it's just the internet, not real life right??

But tonight, it just hurt me to see all these nasty posts to a 23 year old, or really to anybody! Blogs and social media should be used as a way for people to connect to one another, to share happiness & love. It may sound corny but seriously, where did all the joy & friendship in social media go??

I have a Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, a blog. But I don't want to use these social networking tools to tear others down & complain about my problems (although I guess this is kind of complaining now??). I want to start being more intentional about using these tools to lift people up, to share love & joy, to reach out to friends & family who live far away.

If you see me complaining or being intentionally rude/mean to someone on social media, please call me out! I am posting this in a public blog so that I might grow as a kind, God loving, human being. God says that we should hold fellow Christians accountable for their actions, in a kind way. He does not say to judge others, just to help each other in our walks. As a true God follower, I want to be called out when I am going against His will.

I am scared to do this because I don't want this media outlet to become just like the rest, BUT check out this website if you want to spread a little more joy. It's all about posting things you are HAPPY about! What a concept, a website where only positive things are said??!! I love it & it makes me happier :)

https://www.happier.com/

Have a happy evening :)

--Nothing Without Him--

Jenny

2013 Recap

I cannot believe it is 2014! Time seems to go by so quickly. Before I began posting about new happenings in my life, I wanted to review last year. It was a big year for me in many ways but I'll start in the beginning!

• I lived in three places in 2013! 
• The first two places were with Cassie. We started out the year living in an adorable villa in Dillsboro. In February, we moved to a cheaper and much less adorable apartment in Sylva. And it snowed twice right after we moved!

• The third place is where I now live with my hubby. In August, Tripp & I moved into our first real house in Alarka (part of Bryson City). 

• I had three different jobs in 2013!
• I continued with my teaching job at SME! I started a new school year in the fall, same classroom & grade! Thanks to Tabatha who helped me make it through my first year! 
• February-July, I worked as the interim Children's Ministry Coordinator at my church, First United Methodist of Sylva. I could not have done this job without Tripp, Cassie, Carolyn Colton, Susan Huss, and many of the other people who volunteered to teach children's church! Thank you to those that were so helpful. The job brought to light how frustrating it is to be in a church full of people who are unwilling to volunteer their time for God's work. There are various reasons people have for not helping but I encourage you, if you are able, volunteer ANY amount of time at your church. There is a lot of work that happens behind the scene and it is truly disheartening to how few people actually volunteer their time. 
• In the summer, I was the head teacher of a summer school class for school aged children! It was so much fun!
• I guess I had 4ish jobs! I also continued babysitting, although usually Tripp helped. And I helped Tripp teach a toddler, and in the fall school age and toddler, Spanish class. It is also fun!

• I traveled A LOT in 2013! 
• Almost every month, we traveled to Gastonia to visit Tripp's family. We also traveled to Franklin often to visit my family. 
• I went to Hilton Head with these two beautiful ladies! Love them and am so excited to travel with them again this February. 

• In March, I traveled to Gaitlinburg, TN for the 3rd annual Sylva Community Women's Retreat! I cannot any pictures BUT it was a wonderful time spent with old and new friends. I led a small group with discussion questions that were given to me (thankfully) and was so honored to be a part of this time of growth with some amazing women! 
• In April, I went to Chattanooga, TN with my baby brother! We had a great time, eating yummy food, checking out the aquarium and watching an Imax movie! 

• In June, I traveled to traveled to Isle of Palms/Charleston, SC for my honeymoon! We then flew to Chicago, which was a blast! 
• In July, we went to the beach with Tripp's family. We went to North Myrtle Beach! 
• At the end July, Tripp & I traveled to Texas to bring my sister some of her things as she was moving there. We also brought her lovely dog. 

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• In November, we traveled to Winston-Salem for a conference for Tripp. Matthew was there too, performing with his gamelan class. It was great seeing him perform and hanging with my hubby! 
• This December we traveled a lot! We did the usual trips to Gastonia and Franklin to see family. Then, we went to Florida! We went first with our friends, Cassie & Rachel, to go to the Wizarding World park at Islands of Adventures! Then, we went further south to Sarasota to visit my family. I am so thankful Cassie & Rachel were willing to make this happen!

• This year was full of big life changing events! 
• In May, my (at the time) fiance graduated college! I am so proud of him! He then began filling out bunches of job applications as I finished my first year of teaching!

• In June, Tripp & I were married! I've already posted two long blogs about that :) 
• In June also, my sister moved to Texas to work for Teach For America. I am very proud of her, although I miss her very much!
• In July, Tripp got a teaching job in Andrews! He teaches middle & high school chorus.

• A great deal of other things changed in 2013. 
• Our eating habits changed dramatically, which is in another blog. 
• I watched two dear friends have a falling out and still feel very saddened by it, even tho so much time has passed. 
• Tripp & I have begun looking at buying a house in the near future. 
• I shaved my head. 
• I ran two 5ks! 
• I read some books and found new, great music to listen to.
• I watched lots of Gilmore Girls, 7th Heaven, and New Girl. 
• I went to 4 very special weddings.
• A dear friend had a new baby, a beautiful little girl!

A big event began happening in October, when my family learned that my mother has breast cancer. This is a constant daily struggle that I will blog about more.

2013 was a big year, so many good things and some not so good things. One thing that hasn't and will never change is that God is always with me. I don't always communicate well with Him, but, regardless of my actions or lack thereof, He is here with my, guiding me through each. 

Thanks to all for the support and love in 2013! Looking forward to another great year with friends and family! 

--Nothing Without Him--

Jenny

Our Food Journey

This may seem like a mixed message blog but I am just writing what I believe and what has been on my heart lately.

It all started on our honeymoon. My husband and I went into a bookstore and we found a book called ‘7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess’ by Jen Hatmaker. She is a Christian author who I had never heard of before but I am always trying new ways to live more simply because I truly believe that my relationship with God will flourish when I am living simply. Anyways, we found the book, bought it on my kindle, and read most of it. It started a crazy journey that we are now on, a journey that I love and kind of hate at the same time.

I like food. I love sweets. Doughnuts, candy, brownies, cake, cookies, ice cream. I could eat sweets all day and not get sick. I have a very high sweet tolerance J This has made the journey very hard. Eating makes me very happy!

I am also frugal with my finances. Extremely. I used to buy the great value version of almost anything. I wear clothes until they have holes in them. I haven’t had cable in 2 years, because it’s too much money. I am very cheap. Healthy food did not equal cheap in my head before this journey. Healthy food equaled lots of time, money and patience that I just didn’t have. I live a busy life and I needed my food to be easy and cheap.

I thought I was doing good health wise before reading this book and doing some other research. I rarely ate fast food, never bought chips (except for tortilla chips), hardly ever drank soda, and did not often buy extra unnecessary foods like the doughnuts and cakes I loved so much. I didn’t eat out of a vending machine much and I ate fruit and veggies often. Now, if there was free cake or potato chips or pizza somewhere, I would eat that. You don’t turn down free food! So other than these occasions, I felt I was pretty healthy.

Then I started looking at ingredient lists. I realized how some ‘healthy’ foods are filled with processed sugars and dextrins and all sorts of other ingredients that I could not pronounce and did not know what they were. I am not a scientist and I am not trying to judge others and the way they eat. But, from reading Jenn’s book and from doing a minimal amount of research, Tripp & I decided that we didn’t want to eat this way anymore.

We are not trying to eat in the American health food way. We are trying to eat natural food. No processed food! This does not mean no fat and no sugary substances. If it’s natural, we’re ok with eating it! This includes honey, olive oil, butter (certain types), eggs, etc. We have found some great recipes and ideas from other health conscience friends. We have not bought store made bread since July. We have eaten things like pizza and brownies but we have found recipes where we can make these things from scratch and using natural ingredients, and they still taste pretty good!

We are still struggling on weekends when we are out with others. We allow lots of splurges because we don’t want to be food snobs. I like what our parents cook, even it it’s not always all natural. And every once in awhile, I want a milkshake from Dairy Queen!

Another awesome thing we’ve learned is that eating this way (at least the way we’re doing it) is MUCH CHEAPER! Farmers markets have been awesome! Buying local and it’s cheaper. We have eaten less meat because we are trying to keep our meals veggie based (greens are best). We are NOT becoming vegetarians! I like meat! But, we are buying less meat at our meals, making salads or veggies the main course, and this has saved us a ton of money!

This is the part that might seem strange. The core of this natural eating journey is our yearning to be closer to God. I don’t think God wanted us to destroy the natural foods He blessed us with (He is the creator of all things that grow on this Earth after all). I don’t think He wanted us to manipulate and twist and process all of this great food that He gave us. I think He wants us to live simply so that we can focus on Him and live our lives benefiting what He has given us. I want to eat naturally not to be a hippie—I want to be closer to God and to show Him how much I love all that He has given us naturally. This may seem strange, that I put eating healthy as a step to growing closer to God. But I really do think my appreciation for the beautiful and delicious nature He has given us has grown since we’ve started this journey. This is for His glory, not for Tripp & I. I want to praise Him every day for giving me the food that I am eating, knowing that the food came from the ground and that God put it there.

Spending less money on food means I can spend more on giving. Spending more time making food means that I spend more time with my husband, I spend a little less time running around, ‘being busy’. I can take time while I cook to talk to God.

I am thrilled with the healthier feeling that I have. I am beginning to love some of our new natural dishes. And I LOVE buying local and saving money! Overall, I am happy with the journey. It is taking more time and, like I said, we still need a little work. But, I know what we’ve done is making a difference in our health and I am happy with our personal progress. Most of all, I am happy to be growing closer to my creator. I am happy to find a way to praise and glorify Him in eating, one of my favorite activities! 

--Nothing Without Him--

Jenny Lewis 

Wedding Part 2

I had some amazing friends help me throughout wedding planning! Two of them are Kandi Newkirk and Mindy Curtis.

These two were crucial in the planning; they provided tons of advice and tips about weddings and (more importantly) marriage itself; they allowed for their kids to be in my wedding and helped prepare them for the day. I am so blessed to call these inspirational women my friends!

(Found the 5K pic :) )

Well before the wedding, we went to a mall somewhere near Hickory where they encouraged me as I got a makeover. I don't like makeup. But the lady at the mall did a fantastic job!

Mindy was then willing to replicate this make up twice! Once for a practice session and once for real on the morning of the wedding!

I am beyond thankful that they are in my lives and helped me so with all wedding needs. I have learned so much from these ladies.

I also want to feature my amazing wedding luncheon in this blog! Another friend, Julie, put together an amazing luncheon for me, a few friends, and the wonderful women in my family the day before the wedding. This was beyond spectacular and I felt so spoiled! Mindy also helped greatly with this!

My beautiful chair holder!

 The food was divine!!! The dessert was amazing!!!

We even had a photo booth with chalk boards and floppy hats! I cannot wait to see the rest of the pictures from this luncheon! I felt so spoiled that day, being able to relax with my friends and family!

Here is a picture of the ring bearer and flower girl, who Mindy and Kandi graciously allowed to be in my wedding! They were perfect together!

Thank you to Julie, Mindy, & Kandi for all you did to make my day so special!!! <3

--Nothing Without Him--
Jenny

Wedding Part 1

I have been so blessed in my life, and most especially in the past year.

As I posted previously, last year in August, Tripp & I got engaged! I was so excited and so incredibly busy with my first year of teaching! Planning a wedding seemed like it would be difficult. But it was actually one of the most fun things I have ever done, mostly because of all of the help I was given.

My mother was a huge source of help. She was at all dress fittings, helped give opinions when needed, and helped organize more than half of the wedding vendors! Her and my dad are absolutely amazing parents and gave me my dream wedding!

Pam & Dale were another huge source of help. They let us have the wedding on their beautiful property. This included many visits to the property before the wedding, their help in making the property even more beautiful by adding plants, new pathways, etc., making the property just perfect. Pam made me the most delicious breakfast the morning of the wedding and after months of hard work and all the preparation they did for our special day, they even gave us a gift! I cannot thank them enough for everything they did!

Ok, there are many more people I will be thanking, but I'm going to get on to the pictures and the sorting out of all we did for the wedding.

After finding the property, I needed to find a dress. I am not much of a shopper. Ok, I actually hate shopping. But I was really excited to go wedding dress shopping! I headed to Asheville with my mom, my sister, my maid of honor, and lots of friends (Becky, Mindy, Kandi, Valerie, Cassie, Polly, Olivia). I tried on many dresses!

 Some were not so good.....

 I think Holly & Becky had a good time :)

 I liked this one a lot but it wasn't white and I wanted white!

 This one was a contender (I was too short to get the full affect of the dress without standing on it).

And finally, I put on the first dress I tried on, this time adding a sash. It was a magic sash and transformed the dress into the dress I wanted to wear for me wedding!

I had a great time shopping for dresses and am so thankful to all of the help I had from my entourage :)

I don't have many pictures of the rest of wedding planning. My mom found an amazing caterer, my cousin offered to do my photography, my friend Anna offered to help with that too. We decided to make our own wedding invitations and I am very proud of how they turned out (since I am not a crafty person)!

The time flew by and wedding planning became a vacation away from work. I thoroughly enjoyed it and have enjoyed helping a few other friends with their weddings over the past year!

More to come on the wedding later!

--Nothing Without Him--
Jenny

My Life Update

Wow, I have not posted a blog in a long time. I guess that means life has been good or I have been too busy. I think it’s a combo of both. Let’s recap since May 2012, when I graduated from college.

Summer of 2012 was wonderful. It was the first summer I did not have a steady job. I spent the summer babysitting when asked because I wanted to be able to do job interviews anytime I was called.

I went to the beach a lot! I went with a family I babysit for, and my friend Jenny D!

I went on another sort of babysitting trip with Cassie & our friends, the Newkirks! 

I went with my, at the time, boyfriend and his family!

Lastly, I went with my brother and Tripp to visit my Florida family!  And yes, this is the best picture I have of the two of them.

Tripp & I also went to several weddings. The Bence wedding, the Holster wedding, & the Marwitz wedding. All of them were so wonderful! It was so much fun going to so many weddings with my love!

In the midst of the beach and the weddings, I interviewed at 5 different schools. On one of my beach trips, I received a call that I was to be the new 4^th grade teacher at Smokey Mountain Elementary! I was ecstatic! Thankfully, best roommate ever (aka Cassie Moore) was working very close to my school so were able to continue living together! We moved to the Villa, which was very nice and very expensive. But I am mostly glad we lived there.

From August to May, most of my life was taken up by school. Being a teacher is about 357 times hard than I thought it would be. The scary part is, I already thought It would be hard in the first place! I am so blessed to work with some amazing colleagues though! I learned so much and will probably need to post a whole blog simply on the joys and trials of teaching in America.

One last major life event happened. Tripp proposed to me on August 19^th! It was beyond perfect and I am just so blessed to have him in my life!

So aside from teaching, I spent the year planning our wedding. My mom was such a huge help! My dad and her did so many amazing things that Tripp and I are so thankful for!! I had some help from many others too. More on this later, I think.

My friend Becca got married in December! I was so honored to be a part of her special day!!

In February, I became the interim children’s coordinator at First UMC of Sylva. This was a great experience and I am thankful I was able to work so much with the children of the church. I had to leave the job a few weeks ago, because it was too much to do with teaching and we are now living somewhere else.

Also in February, Cassie and I moved to a different apartment in preparation for Cassie-moving-to-Asheville L I was so so so so so blessed to get to live with Cassie for so long. I am incredibly thankful for her and will always look to her as one of my best friends! But with the wedding coming up and with Cassie’s job aspirations, it made sense that we not live together after I was married and she really wanted to be in Asheville. I am so glad she got a job there and I know she is going to be an amazing manager of the Grand Bohemian one day J Some Cassie pics because we take such good pics!

At some point in April, Tripp & I ran a 5K with some wonderful friends and my sister! We ran it in 34 minutes!!! It was my first!

In May, Tripp graduated college! Cassie was moving out! I was finishing up the school year! My dear friend Miranda was married and I am so honored to have been a part of her special day too! 

On June 15^th, Tripp & were married. It was the best day of my life. I will write more about that later.

This summer, we both worked, we learned how to live together, and Tripp got a full time teaching job teaching choir in Andrews at a middle and high school. We moved to Bryson City, so he’d be a little closer to work, although he still has quite a commute.

Now these are all just highlights of the best year. Much, much more happened but I don’t have time to write about everything! I am starting my second year at SME in the same room and grade (YAY!) and Trippy is starting his job and God is still blessing us in so many ways! 

I will definitely be writing again soon!

--Nothing Without Him--

Jenny Lewis